Dreams.
Do dreams mean something? Do dreams reflect things that are stuck onto our subconscious? Do they reflect what we do in life and what we think about? I think so.
I recently watched a movie called "Waking Life" which was basically about dreaming and lucid dreams. Very interesting, once you get past the trippy animation that keeps warping throughout the film. The few things that stuck with me from that was, one, that every sensation that you feel in the dream is exactly the same as it would be in real life. Like, when you jump in your dream and your legs reflexively jolt and wake you up. Or when you feel a sharp pain of someone stabbing you only to wake up feeling the same pain. All places and sensations are real to you while dreaming..no matter how skewed the landscape is, the textures, smells, ect are as real as they would be if you were awake, as long as you've experienced said things in reality. Another was that time and space are skewed. Ever hit your snooze button for 10 minutes and fall back into a dream that seems to last forever? One part of the dialogue the woman said she felt like like she was observing your life... from the perspective of an old woman about to die; Like she's looking back on her life. Like her waking life is the old woman's memories. One second in reality is infanitly longer in the dreamworld. There was a study done that once you die, there is still a few minutes of brain power before everything shuts down...so who's to say that that isn't plausible?
Did you know that you can only dream of people that you know? You'll actually only see people who you know, and who you interact with. All the others in your dreams - say you were in a crowd - are just projections and they may have a face, but you'll never be able to recollect them; or, their features won't be distinct. Like in my dreams, if i remember a dream, its always the same people for the majority of it. My friend Tink, my ex Ty, a few other close friends and....V. As I mentoned earlier, I believe that anything that you've thought of that day, or has been on the back of your mind, will show up in your dreams. For me, any dream I vividly remember, I am plagued with her. I won't get into huge backstory, but I have an issue when it comes to not getting closure and will dwell on something until I get it. This is why she is there. The first dream I ever had with her was quite awhile ago now...I had sent her a message wanting to talk and sort things out, but no reply. In the dream she was filming a video of her wedding rehearsal and all of our friends were there and she was going on about how it was going to be perfect cause she had all these super ideas (which were mine) and how glad she was that everyone that mattered was there. I was going along with it, walking around with her and Tink when I realized, I was invisible to everyone. I felt like a ghost that no one knew was there...and in the background a song started playing; Please Read the Letter by Robert Plant. Fitting, no? "please read the letter, I nailed it to your door.. there's nothin' here that's left for you, check with lost and found..." drifted over the hill on the wind, which picked me up and helpless I drifted away on it.
That dream, and the others that followed it still bother me, cause I'm always an invisible bystander, and always wake up in a funk that lasts the whole day. Some times I think she sees me, but then I turn around and there's someone else there, or she's just talking to herself. Its like she's completely blocked me out of her head and life so much that its reflecting into my dreams, and taunting me. I have no interest in being friends again, I just want this..limbo.. to end. I find dreams fascinating, but at the same time, one's subconscious can really be a bitch...
